In Alaska, a lot of people deal with Seasonal Affective Disorder. So before we go on, here’s the disclaimer: what I describe here  is provided as an information resource only, and is not to be used or relied on for any diagnostic or treatment purposes. This information is not intended to be patient education and should not be used as a substitute for professional diagnosis and treatment. I encourage you to do research on your own and take that research to discuss it with your doctor.

So I am one of those who deals with it. In the past, I used a Happy Lite (aka light therapy), Vitamin D, coffee, yarrow tea, probiotics, and forest bathing. Late last winter, I added/replaced yarrow with chaga tincture partly because I ran out of yarrow.

This year, as fall came around, my grandfather died. Truly, it was my husband’s grandfather. It has hit me hard. Hard enough that with a lot of other stressors in my life, I have gone into full depression. I blame it partly on forgetting my Happy Lite and chaga tincture for a week. But mentally and emotionally I am exhausted. Like, ugly crying, incoherent sobbing, the whole works.

Why am I telling you this? Because mental health issues are a serious problem not only in Alaska, all over. I also want to be real with you. I am not some perfect person who knows all the answers. Really, I love being right and having answers. It has taken a long time for me to be able to confidently say “I don’t know”. Sometimes I still find myself wracking my brain for something instead of saying that.

Some ugly thoughts popped into my head last week. Some thoughts that a little over ten years ago caused me to try and take my life.

You have no idea how hard that was to type, knowing I will be publishing for the world to see. I am ugly crying right now. This is going to be disjointed because I need to get this out. I hope this will help others.

This time is different. I have people that will kick my ass to make me get the help I need (I didn’t then, I only called after I had made the attempt, part of that was shame. “I shouldn’t be a burden”). I am more familiar with failure and okay with it (I was failing college classes.This was the first time I had failed at anything. Currently a lot of monetary things have popped up to push back my husband and my goal of paying off our student loans by the end of the year). I am working towards something I love (teaching and helping people feel better using natural remedies, my heart was not in graphic design as much as I thought it was). My willpower is also stronger. I get mad at the thoughts and my chemical imbalance because it’s not who I am. I WANT to live. I want to live so that I can help people. In my tradition, I am here to create balance. Everyone has light and dark in them. You can never eradicate the darkness as it is part of you. If you don’t have it, you are not whole. Something that I have heard recently is that you need to talk to yourself, not listen to yourself.

If you’re in a bad place

Have community. Just like in addiction, if you do not have a good support system, you will not do well. There’s a study on rats that studied addiction. The rats that had a good social system didn’t get addicted to the laced water, whereas those who had a poor social system did become addicted. It has helped me to surround myself with good people. The last few months, I have been fairly isolated because I haven’t had time outside of work.

If you don’t have someone, text Text CONNECT to 741741 in the United States, call the national lifeline 1-800-273-8255, find someone to talk to. If you’re prone to bouts of depression or crisis, program together a list of people you can call.

Get the help you need from a professional.

Write down what is good in your life. Write down what you are grateful for. Gratitude has been shown to help with resilience and good mental health.

Herbs that can help the mood

St. John’s Wort has been used in Europe for mild to moderate depression.
Chaga Tincture (possibly decoction, but it has to be made correctly)

Rose Root – Rhodiola Rosea root decoction has been shown to help with depression

Balm, or Lemon balm – Melissa Officinalis, tea or tincture is also helpful

Other things that can help

Happy Lite, or other full spectrum light for light therapy

Probiotic – the gut health has been shown to affect your immune system as well as your mental health.

Exercise – even if it’s a ten minute walk, get your body moving. Yoga is good too.

Forest bathing. Spending time outside in nature reconnects us to the earth.

Vitamin D is one of the main things for lack of sunlight.

Some things I personally do

Dance party – even if it’s by myself. Sometimes it’s with my dogs.

Karaoke party – this is usually by myself. Sometimes Jason joins in.

Song and dance have been a big part of my life and usually make me feel better.

You can use all of these techniques for regular Seasonal Affective Disorder as well.

If someone comes to you in trouble, don’t tell them to buck up. Help them talk through it. Make sure they are breathing. Most likely they will be ugly crying. Calm them down the best way possible. Get them to seek professional help if you cannot help them. Support them. Show them that you are worthy of their trust because they came to YOU. Kick their ass so that they get the help they need. If you can’t help them, give them the numbers I listed above, or find local ones. Help them find hope.

I have hope. I am going to keep going, one step in front of the other. I will win over the darkness. Every breath I breathe is a victory. I am here to help people feel better using natural remedies. I will continue to do so. I am a light that the darkness cannot smother.